Energy Drinks: Please Panic Responsibly

I?m a huge consumer of energy drinks. Hmm. No… that’s not quite accurate. Let’s try again:

Hi! My name is Daniel, and I’m an addict! Do I have a caffeine problem? Hell, no, I’ve got it licked! (And slurped and gulped and guzzled and slammed… even sipped if I?m feelin? sentimental…)

See those? I can down both of them in less than an hour. And then come back for one of these:

Yes, you read the bottom right corner correctly — 32 glorious freakin’ fluid ounces of RAW POWAH. Next up: How to make a Yellowjacket. Soon as my hands stop shaking.